


can i get a fuckin uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhh

by lookoutforburningbuildings



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, IM SORRY BUT THIS IS MY FAVORITE VIDEO IVE EVER SEEN, i have things to do tomorrow and im up late writing.........t h i s, shitpost, well welcome me to the dbh fandom because im new here and this is what i write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 16:11:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15610044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lookoutforburningbuildings/pseuds/lookoutforburningbuildings
Summary: inspired by that one post, you know the one (here it is if you dont: http://amaltheasshole.tumblr.com/post/176518249494/thesnappytrio-smiley-the-guy-local-dude)





	can i get a fuckin uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhh

“Alright, alright.” Simon mutters to himself, chuckling a bit at the mere idea of the voice changer being used like this. He sighs and looked up to the table the five were sitting at, everyone looking like they were trying not to laugh too. He clears his throat. “Can I help the next guest?” He asks in his best ‘customer service’ voice. He hears a small giggle from Josh, but ignores it for the horrible acting he’s doing. “Hello, welcome to Starbucks, what can I get for you?”

 

Connor clicks his tongue, trying not to smile himself. “ **_Yeah, can I get a motherfucking uhhh…_ ** ” His muttering trails off, and the androids at the table are already letting their laughs go a bit. His voice is deep and so unlike him, and it sounds like it came straight from the depths of hell. “ **_Uhhh...burger._ ** ” He finishes, and the rest of them can’t help but burst into laughter. Connor covers his mouth with one hand to keep him from laughing too, but he’s smiling. 

 

To put it simply, the four leaders of Jericho had found out about how Connor could change how his voice was, and they just had to do something stupid with it. They managed to convince him (which was surprisingly easy, considering his level of humor), and they already decided on what they would do with it. 

 

Simon holds back his laughter to say something else. “S-Sir, we don’t sell burgers here.” He stutters out, his voice cracking a few times as he held his laughing in. 

 

“ **_What do you mean you don’t sell--_ ** ” Connor is cut off but Markus hitting his head against the table, laughing hard. Connor chuckles a bit himself, it coming off quite...demonic, and it just made the others laugh even more.

 

“We-we sell paninis and breakfast sandwiches!” Simon says, his customer service voice faltering somewhat.

 

“Oh, my cardiac arrest!” North mumbles, rubbing her eye with her palm, possibly wiping away happy tears. She’s leaned back in her chair, pushing her foot against the table legs to tilt the chair around, and it’s probably going to fall if they keep this up.

 

Connor slams his hand on the table, looking intently at Simon. “ **_You think I know what a panini is?_ ** ” He asks, tone dead serious, and Markus cackles breathlessly. Josh is somehow managing to keep his laughter back somewhat (keyword--somewhat), and Simon just starts laughing so hard he starts coughing. After a moment of wheezing, he goes to speak again, but is cut off by Connor. “ **_Just give me a burger, extra cheese!_ ** ”

 

“No! We don’t have burger extra cheese, we have paninis and b--” Simon is once again cut off.

 

“ **_Please, you don’t understand, I need this!_ ** ” He says, a look of absolute desperation on his face and Markus slams his hand on the table a few times.

 

“No!” Josh shouts before wheezing out a few laughs.

 

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave if you don’t want anything!” Simon says, losing the acting voice all together.

 

“ **_Why are you suppressing food from the public?!_ ** ” Connor asks. He looks behind Simon and starts laughing himself,covering his face with one hand. Simon and the others look over and see Hank standing in the doorway, utter confusion on his face.

 

“What in the  _ hell _ did I walk into?” He breathes, and the androids at the table start laughing even harder. “What happened? Hold on, hold on, what?” He takes a few steps inside the room and looks over the five, trying his best to figure out what the fuck happened while he was gone.

 

Simon continues. “Can I get you a caramel macchiato?” He asks, cocking an eyebrow at Connor, and the two both manage to regain their composure by some miracle.

 

“ **_Yeah, I’ll have burger, extra dip!_ ** ” He says, almost sounding afraid.

 

“Oh my god.” Hank says. “The voice changer? Really?” He asks, and Connor nods, grinning wide. Hank looks almost disappointed, but shakes his head and sits down at an empty chair at the table. 

 

“Sir! This is a Starbucks, not a McDonalds!” North yells, her voice slightly altered due to laughing so much.

 

“ **_Please, they’ll take away my wife if I don’t give them this!_ ** ” Connor practically begs, looking afraid now. The androids all start laughing even harder, Josh curling in on himself and holding his stomach. North finally sits up in her chair, running a hand through her hair.

 

“Sir, you are at the wrong store!” Makrus shouts, his voice slightly higher pitched from being so breathless. “You want a McDonalds, not a Starbucks!”

 

“Why are you buying clothes at the soup store?” Hank joins in with, looking so confused, but still adding his jokes. He’s fairly certain none of them get the reference, but they’re laughing anyways. Hank isn’t laughing as hard as them, hell, he barely knows what’s happening, but he’s still laughing.

 

“ **_Hello?!_ ** ” Connor yells, looking around the room as if searching for something. “ **_I would like a burger--_ ** ”

 

“ _ No! _ ” North yells with more conviction. “We sell coffees here, and dutch danishes!”

 

“rA9!” Josh exclaims with emotion in his tone, almost sounding exhausted.

 

“B-Boss?” Simon looks to Markus, who is practically crying from laughter. “I-I need to get the manager!” He says breathlessly.

 

“Guys, what even--” Hank’s question is cut off by Connor.

 

“ _ C o m p o u n d. _ ” He says, his voice echoing loudly, and everyone bursts into laughter again, except for Hank, who has completely given up understanding his android son and his friends.

 

“What?!” North asks.

 

“Si-Sir, do you want to speak to the manager?” Simon asks, tilting his head innocently.

 

“He’s ordering a burger from hell.” Josh says.

 

“ **_Yeah, can I get a fucking uhh--_ ** ”

 

“No **!** ” North shouts again. “Holy shit, this was a horrible idea!”

 

“It is the best idea we’ve had in a long time, North!” Markus argues, practically wheezing his words. He sighs. “It just got a lot hotter in this room!” He exclaims, sitting up again.

 

“Jericho is wild.” Hank mutters. “So, who wants to explain what the fuck I just witnessed?” He asks, looking at all the androids, who all just shrug.

 

“Okay, so.” Connor starts in his normal voice again, somehow making it even more funny. “They all found out about the way my model can change its voice, so they all wanted to make a joke out of it. The storyline is basically a guy trying to buy a burger from Starbucks.” He explains. Hank just looks more confused. “It’s honestly the most funny thing we’ve done in a while.”

 

“Fucking androids.” Hank whispers under his breath, making the androids in the room start laughing all over again.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah  
> i did that


End file.
